I am sure she would have understood. She would have known why it was that I always liked to play games with the girls, and why I lacked interest in boy's clothing when she would take me shopping for clothing. I always liked to look at the girls and womens clothing sections when mother bought clothes for herself. I would look at all the ribbons, laces, and ruffels and I knew that someday, some how, I would be able to have them too.

When I was in my teens, I was sent away to a military academy for a few years. I did not protest about it, as I knew that mother wanted her sons to be men, and so I tolerated three years of pretty hard life at the academy, and the feminine side of my character suffered with no activity at all. After World War I, I went to work for a few years and had to give up all thoughts of dressing, but the desire was very much still there.

A few years later, my mother, brother and I mov- ed to California, where for many years my feminine side remained buried under the burdens of making a living and dreaming of the time when full expression could be attained. Life went on in a more or less un- eventful manner. I made frequent visits to the down- town shopping areas, in the evenings, by myself, when I could spend as much time as I wished looking into the shop windows, admiring the latest fashions, or just scrutinizing some of the women who passed by. I was more than casually interested in the women and could always pick out the more properly and fashion- ably dressed individuals. Of course the man that was with the woman at the time, had no idea why I was gazing at the woman, so he would give me a resent- ful look and would make me stop looking. Once or twice a week I would attend a public dance, where I could watch the ladies dancing. I would observe their mannerisms closely, and also notice how they dressed and danced. I would wander around the dance hall and only rarely could I get up the courage to ask one of the ladies for a dance. I seemed more content to just look and admire them. For a number of years I worked in a theatre, and this added much to my study of female

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